Communicate that you do not want them behaving in a certain way. Always focus on the behavior, not the person. Do not go into personal attacks or statements which sound accusatory of the person but focus on the behavior and the outcomes of that behavior. Be precise about it but also be compassionate and empathetic. Understand that nobody likes to be on the opposite side of being told that they have done the wrong thing. However sometimes it is necessary. There are ways that you can do it without breaking that relationship or putting people off-side.
So that is how to use assertiveness in four four different ways. You need to be strong, confident and say things that are not always popular, but you can do it in a way that is compassionate and understanding of the people you lead and not damaging to the relationship in the process. I hope that was really helpful for you. Studies show that body language, tone and selected emphasis on certain words play a huge role in getting your message across.
They are all factors of the four communication styles — passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive.
Assertive empaths are able to stand up for themselves, in a firm but pleasant way. They are able to communicate their needs without personal insults, betraying themselves, or hurting others. They are usually people who are appropriately honest, and have high intuitive empathy. It is especially important for empaths to develop their assertive skills, as they are vulnerable to toxic people like narcissists taking advantage of their kind and compassionate natures.
Assertive empaths are fully capable of managing their emotions. They do not repress them — rather, they express them in healthy and appropriate ways. Those who are assertive are able to be happy for themselves and others, experience excitement, have hope for the future and are able to express gratitude.
However, they are also able to express negative emotions in healthy ways. These empaths are able to allow themselves to fully feel their sadness, anger or fear. They are also able to deal with them in a responsible and perceptive way.
They know when they are able to handle their own emotions, as well as when to reach out to others for help. This is a very important trait of an assertive empath. Assertive empaths remember what they have in common with others, rather than what makes them different, or areas where they clash. You may know that ultimately, everyone is on the same side. You are honest with your colleagues, your partner and you families. If you are an assertive empath, you are probably able to speak up about your needs without feeling guilty.
If you find you are unable to do something, or encounter something that violates your boundaries, you do not keep quiet. Rather, you communicate your needs and boundaries, in a clear and polite way. For example, if you, an assertive person, are asked to work late, when you already have a prior commitment, you do not give in. I have prior commitments.
As an empath, you may sometimes be vulnerable to putting others above yourself. You may do this because you feel obligated, or because your want to assist people overwhelms you. In these instances, you may want to remind yourself of your boundaries, take a step back to breathe, and practice mindfulness. Assertive people are able to communicate their needs without hurting other people. You take care to not disrespect, hurt or demean other people — and if you do by accident, you set things right by apologising.
These boundaries may concern any topic — for example, you may decide you are not going to allow yourself to be interrupted. The ability to do this is a clear sign of an assertive empath. If you are an assertive empath, you are probably an easy-going person who believes the past is in the past. Years ago I attended a course at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government, where, among other things, I learned that leadership is a constant tug between assertiveness and empathy. First, let's define our terms.
Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. Empathy is the ability to understand what others are thinking and feeling.
Assertiveness without empathy leads to conflict with followers and damaged relationships, while empathy without assertiveness is weak and undermines a leader's status. We often think of empathy as soft, and assertiveness as hard. Or empathy is listening , while assertiveness is talking. But empathetic listening is a hard personal asset that can strengthen your relationships, and calm assertiveness has the capacity to settle disputes and cause people to work together.
None of us is perfect, but as a leader, it's ideal to have both. This dual capability is also essential for highly effective communicators, whether or not they happen to be leaders in the traditional sense. In sales, for instance, where you are leading your audience to a conclusion, you need to understand the client's situation, and speak to them in their language about issues that are important to them.
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